Consultation:

Hello, teacher, I like a girl in our class, she did not know I like her, usually not a lot of interaction, occasional meeting will say a few words. Recently, she seems to have something on her mind, her friends circle the hair is more negative words, said the pressure is very helpless and so on, I do not know what happened to her, very want to comfort her, but do not know how to do.

Reply:

Many partners in the pursuit of girls, there is such a misunderstanding, when the sister is unhappy, sick, have difficulties, immediately to comfort and encourage her, think it is a way to reap good feelings.
In fact, it is not.
Before you console yourself, you must find out whether she needs your comfort.
It’s easy to comfort and be nice to people, but if it’s not what she wants, no amount of it will increase her liking for you.
If you’re just casual acquaintances, just say hello when you meet and don’t talk in private, your comfort is sudden, frightening, and completely unnecessary.
This sudden courtesy is also a cheap way of courtship.
Because you expose the need, and she doesn’t need you to do that, she feels redundant, even a little disgusted.
When should we comfort her? Only when she looks forward to it, can you give her encouragement and comfort to become a surprise, so that you can move the other person.
For you, the relationship is insipid, usually very few, she certainly has no expectations for you. If you look forward to your comfort, this is definitely not the case.
If you become familiar with her later, you can give her the right encouragement.
Now you are ignoring this relationship. You don’t need to do anything. Now this state, want to pay for her, do more wrong, the more wrong the more panic, the more panic, it is easy to form a vicious circle.
The development of any interpersonal relationship is gradual and can not be leaped.
What you need to do now is to get in touch with her, develop a sense of comfort, and become a more easily spoken friend.

 

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