Question:

Last week, I had a quarrel with my girlfriend about something that was a bit inconvenient to say.  Forgives me. I thought she was too unreasonable, normal people would not think so, she is not the same brain as normal people, did not show her weakness. It’s been several days since the cold war, and I don’t think she’s ever said good-bye, and the relationship is so stiff. She’s very cold to me, and I don’t know what to do. If you want to take the initiative to find her, you will be afraid of breaking the ice. Now I’m so upset about it that I can’t calm down to work, and I don’t want to eat or drink with my friends. What should I do? Should I look for her?

Reply:

The spade will certainly touch the edge of the pot. It’s normal for couples to quarrel, especially during the run-in and stabilization period.
A lot of times, we will encounter such a situation as you, feel that the other party is unreasonable to make trouble, the fault is her, I am right, why bow.
But I think in the cold war, as a man, as long as you have each other in mind, you should take the initiative to bow.
In the cold war, such contradictions often arise.
She waits for your mistake to save, you wait for her to bow down and show weakness.
You think she’s making trouble. She thinks you’re too serious.
If there are contradictions, they do not give in to each other, they feel that the truth is in their own here, even if you are in love with each other, for a long time, will also feel tired not to love.

I think if she didn’t do something that touches your bottom line, you don’t need to be so serious. For example, go off the rails, keep ambiguous with other men, and abuse your parents and elders.
If you don’t touch your bottom line, there’s nothing shameful about showing her weakness. You don’t need to be principled about anything.
A few days ago, I read an article called Happy Family. It is never different from the three views, but right and wrong.
There is a paragraph inside that says very well: husband and wife always get along with differences, must fight for a right or wrong, do not know, won the result, but lost the feelings, oneself are not happy.
Why do you take the initiative to show weakness instead of her?
Your psychology must have been like this.
You think she’s unreasonable; she thinks you’re too fond of reasoning with her, too concerned about right and wrong, not about her feelings, not about her.

 

You see now, restless, can’t concentrate on anything, even if you win the quarrel, what can you do?
A lot of times, it’s not a woman who wants to argue with you about right and wrong, but that you argue with her about this, don’t know to let her, just don’t care about her, don’t love her. After the argument, the more she thought about it, the more angry she felt, the more sad she felt, so she did not want to take the initiative to find you.
She thinks about feelings and feelings, and you think more about yourself and stick to the truth.
Men know how to bow in a timely manner, not right or wrong, but also to give women a sense of security. Many times, women need men very much. Men can tolerate women, and they will make her feel at ease. For example, when the holiday mood is restless, when pregnant men need to take care of carefully, after the birth of a child’s postpartum depression, need a man to have enough tolerance and understanding of her.

 

It’s not good to quarrel with the Cold War when you meet a little thing in love; what about these big difficulties? In that case, women can not feel safe for this man, she herself want someone to love, someone tolerant and understanding, but also consider your glass heart?
Since you can’t put her down, why should you make yourself so miserable?
Take the initiative. She is waiting for you to show weakness, and she is also giving you the opportunity to show weakness.
Maybe you admit her mistake now, she won’t forgive you right away. Does she need to step down, too? It’s certainly not a day or two for her to relax after the cold war. You need to be patient. But you have to keep coaxing her, not one day, more days, she saw your attitude is so sincere, and so sincere, naturally soft-hearted.
It’s like eating a meal. It’s impossible to eat enough and eat slowly.
She is angry with you, disappointed, to forgive you, but also need a process, at first very angry with you, do not want to ignore you, you constantly coax her, slowly soften her heart will forgive you.

Related reading:

If A Girl Is Slow In Replying. Does It Mean She Is Not Interested In You?

How To Actually Meet Introverted Girls?

Dear Such “Nice Guy”, This Is Why I Don’t Want You

And more…